Everytime I See A Cardinal Fly It's A Happy Mother's Day

“Mom used to say….” 

I find myself using those four words a lot.  Her words.  Her lessons.  Her laughter.  Her expressions.  Her gestures.  They all echo inside me.  I know I am the woman, the sister, the friend, and the mother I am today because of her.

 

She was an original brown-eyed girl with a lot of sass and soul.  She cared deeply for her family and the many she called her friends.  She was trustworthy, reliable, and smart.  She was revered in her profession as a strong businesswoman, leader, and mentor. Women saw her as a role model.  She seemed to innately understand how to balance family life with her career. But there was another side to her not many saw.  It was very spirited and fun. She played piano and would make a joyful noise (she’d never call it singing). She loved to dance: the shag, the jitterbug, and the Cha-cha-cha. She had an insatiable thirst for learning, along with a childlike wonder and excitement that surfaced every time she embarked on a new adventure.  

I remember her saying how much joy my siblings and I gave her, but I never understood, until I became a mom. Every moment with my son, I feel what she must have felt. Yes, there’s a little pride thrown in there, but for the most part it is pure joy. Every story, gesture,  giggle, and expression seem to fill me up with lightness. Mom had that times five, I suppose.

I watched her being an incredible sister, a caring daughter, and a dear friend even when it wasn't easy. However, I know playing these roles gave her fulfillment as well; so did the simple things in life:  a walk around her neighborhood, a magnolia blossom, a pine cone, the color of autumn leaves after the fall, the sense of clarity she seemed to gain by pulling weeds from her garden --- crisp ironed sheets, a beautifully set dinner table, a well-written book, a expressive piece of artwork, a great song or heartfelt poem.

She taught my siblings and I how to see the beauty in the world and not miss the delightful details in a single moment.  She set high expectations for herself and her kids. She boasted that we always met her expectations. We responded joking that it's only because that's what she expected. I do believe we are trustworthy because she trusted us; and we are accountable because she counted on us. It wasn't an effort then and now it is just a part of who we are.

She had her flaws of course. She had a critical eye and ran a tight ship -- but it's what kept us all afloat. She used to talk through movies, lose her keys incessantly, and could get a little technologically confused (she thought my positive pregnancy test strip was a perfume sample). Yet, when she spoke everyone listened. She was the matriarch of the family and set the rules. 

Rule #1 family comes first. I don’t know if it was her insistence that family mattered so much or just the fact I do actually love my siblings and extended family. I mean, I know that even if they weren’t my family, I’d probably want to hang out with them.  We are all very different, but we have two big things in common:  We all love Mom and we all miss her, a lot.

When she passed away she told us not to worry, because every time we saw a Cardinal, it would be her letting us know she’s still around and thinking of us. I’m sure it’s no accident that she picked a bird that is the most easily recognizable with its brilliant red color that can be seen all twelve months of the year (It’s the official state bird in seven states).   

Interestingly, the Cardinal is associated with the number twelve in folklore.  Mother’s Day is on the 12th and my mother was born on the 12^th.  The number twelve in folklore is believed to be lucky; and when a Cardinal flies into your life, they say you can expect a change for the better to occur within twelve hours, days, weeks, or months.  If you witness the Cardinal flying upward to the sky you will have instant good luck.  I’ve read it’s recommended that you always welcome the Cardinal to your windowsill, because it is the spirit of a recently deceased relative or friend. 

I told you Mom was smart. I see a Cardinal every day.  It fills me up imagining it is Mom now with wings to be with each of us at a moment’s notice --to make her joyful noise and remind us life is beautiful.  I love you Mom, Happy Mother’s Day.