Metamorphosing the Mirror.

Physically or metaphorically reflective surfaces have been our teacher and our nemesis since the beginning of time. It could be said we all - in varying degrees - are like Narcissus, who in the familiar myth saw his reflection and was mesmerized. Granted, he thought it was someone else. His admiration for this image turned into love, and then into an obsession that eventually overpowered his desire for anything or anyone else. In the end, he starved himself and died.

Well, thin is in; glamour and beauty are defined for us in the media. Many women in our tenacious effort to meet this feminine ideal have turned into hyper-conscious vigilantes bedeviled by our mirrors. As with Narcissus, the reflective surface is not always glass or metal, it can be a pool of water or even people who reflect what they see in us. They can be our mother, father, sister, brother, teacher, boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbor, relative, or stranger. They can report back positively or negatively. Yet regardless, we listen and act accordingly to change or maintain the view. In our effort to “know thyself” we have been lead down a warped path.

As much as these mirrors or people attempt to reflect reality to us, they usually distort it. The reflective surface could be slightly more concave or convex creating an illusion of being taller or shorter – consider all those dressing room mirrors especially the ones that are inevitably there when you’re trying on a bathing suit. The observer interpreting the perspective also brings his or her own expectations or illusions. For instance, a person who grew up in a critical environment may see something totally different than one who grew up in a loving home – even if they are looking in the same mirror. If there is an observer and one who is being observed, you actually have two sets of expectations and illusions to deal with. So, what’s the truth?

What do I really look like? Who am I? Am I fat? Am I pretty? Does this outfit look good on me? The answers all depend on what or who is acting as the reflective surface and who is interpreting that reflective information. We can set up five different mirrors and depending on their shape, size, length, width, and angle of incidence (where the reflection hits the “normal” and reflects back)– the results will vary. Remember that. Also be mindful of what preconceived notions you have of yourself that you have brought to the mirror since childhood. If those notions no longer serve you, learn to shift them. Burn the tape that runs in your head and record a new one. Finally, if someone else is acting as your mirror, realize where that interpretation is coming from and receive the information accordingly.

By all means learn to know yourself, but do so with compassion, clarity, balance, and most of all love and forgiveness. Because in reality, you are but a reflection of your thoughts, so make them wonderful.