The Journey of Motherhood through the Sutras of Patanjali

I’ve been thinking about the Journey of Yoga through the Sutras of Patanjali in relation to the journey of motherhood, and I became fascinated with all of the parallels I could draw. Now, I'm writing quickly because I just thought of this before I taught class this morning, so I will come back to refine, but want to share what I have so far. 

As many of you know there are four padas or chapters in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Below I relate the four padas to the journey of motherhood:

1.     Samadhi –Meditation - Becoming one with the idea of motherhood.

2.     Sadhana –Practice - Preparing the body for motherhood

3.     Vibhuti –  Powers – Experiencing the power of creating life and the responsibilities that come with that.

4.     Kaivalya – Freedom – Learning to let go

When I began to focus on the eight limbs of yoga.  Once again I could draw parallels. 

1.     Yama - social or moral precepts

a.     Ahimsa – non-violence  

b.     Satya –truthfulness

c.      Asteya – Not taking that which is not given

d.     Brahmacarya – Sexual responsibility

e.     Aparigraha – Avoidance of  unnecessary acquisitions

2.     Niyama - self-disciplines

a.     Sauca - cleanliness

b.     Santosa - contentment

c.      Tapas – deep commitment

d.     Svadhyaya – self study contemplation of spiritual concepts

e.     Isvara pranidhana – surrender and humility

3.     Asana – practice of poses

4.     Pranayama practice of breathwork

5.     Pratyahara practice of detachment

6.     Dharana – practice of one pointed focus

7.     Dhyana – practice of meditation

8.     Samadhi - enlightenment

I realized at every stage of motherhood so far, I could say I experienced a different level of these eight stages of Yoga.  Pre-birth, I had to be good to my body (ahimsa).  I had to be truthful (steya) about what I could and couldn’t do as my body changed. I had to be truthful about what I could and couldn't do as a career woman becoming a mother.  I had to be honest about a lot of changes that were coming. I knew I couldn’t covet things (asteya) like other mom’s lives with the financial means to be stay-at-home moms. I had to be sexually responsible (brahmacarya)  --not only because I had chosen to be married and committed to one man but also for the health of the baby.  I also had to be financially responsible to be able to support a child ( Aparigraha).

Even before my son came into the world, I had to address the ideas of cleanliness (Sauca) of my mind and body, contentment (Santosa)with my changing body, commitment to discipline my thoughts, actions, and diet (Tapas).  As my son was growing inside me, the fears of motherhood began to come to the surface for me to look at and work with (Svadyaya).  I had to surrender to the fact I was gaining 56 lbs and didn’t recognize myself anymore.  I had to surrender to a scary birth that was not at all like I planned.  I had to humble myself to the overwhelming idea of motherhood that only really hits you when you hold that baby in your arms.  And it is at that moment that you find faith.  Faith that something out there, something much bigger than you had a hand in this and felt you were up to the task and therefore faith that you will be supported in your new role ( Isvara pranidhana).

 Once my son came into the world.  Cleanliness became quite a big deal.  Not just with diaper changes, etc., but also with the fact that a new baby is susceptible to all kinds of illness, so I had to make sure I paid special attention to keeping the family and the house clean.  The idea of aligning my thoughts and words began to really take shape.  I couldn’t say cuss words anymore.  They would come right back at me if I did and at the most inappropriate times, “Damn it, Momma, I don’t want to leave.” Yes, the actual words from my son, which were shouted at me, quite loud in fact at the Decatur Library at around age 3.  At the same time, I had to find contentment with what I deemed as failures as a mother.  I had to study myself again and again and re-evaluate myself in relation to my expectations and the reality of the world around me.  Once again, I had to humble myself to my imperfections and surrender to my faith that everything was going to be okay even if I wasn’t the perfect mom.

The other six limbs of yoga came into play pre-birth, birth, and afterbirth again and again, as well.  Our fears get rather pronounced in motherhood. The citta vrittis or fluctuations of the mind can get a little pronounced as well.   Can I get pregnant?  Will I be able to hold onto the pregnancy? Will the baby be healthy?  How in the world is that baby going to get out?  Can I survive the pain?  What if I die?  What if the baby doesn’t make it? Am I grown up enough to be a mom?   How can I function without any sleep?  What if my attention wavers one minute away from him --- he's a toddler and getting into everything? How can I ever let him go into the men's bathroom by himself?  What if he gets kidnapped or lost?  How can I leave him at daycare?  How can I just drop him off at elementary school -- will he make it to class by himself?  What if he gets bullied at middle school?  What if someone breaks his heart?  How will I ever be able to let him drive by himself.  What if... How will...?

Therefore, the practice of keeping the body active, asana, working with the breath, pranayama, detachment, pratyahara and focus, dharna (read happy thought) and finding your center, dhyana begin to cycle again and again and again…every cycle you begin to reach inch by inch a new level of enlightenment:  Samadhi. Through infancy, the terrible twos, the elementary years, the tweens and teens and finally, adulthood. Each new level you learn to “let go” a little more. Until, you learn to let go completely.  Each time you do -- at whatever stage of motherhood you are in (even if you are just learning to mother yourself), you learn that letting go brings you and those you love freedom:  Kaivalya.

Everytime I See A Cardinal Fly It's A Happy Mother's Day

“Mom used to say….” 

I find myself using those four words a lot.  Her words.  Her lessons.  Her laughter.  Her expressions.  Her gestures.  They all echo inside me.  I know I am the woman, the sister, the friend, and the mother I am today because of her.

 

She was an original brown-eyed girl with a lot of sass and soul.  She cared deeply for her family and the many she called her friends.  She was trustworthy, reliable, and smart.  She was revered in her profession as a strong businesswoman, leader, and mentor. Women saw her as a role model.  She seemed to innately understand how to balance family life with her career. But there was another side to her not many saw.  It was very spirited and fun. She played piano and would make a joyful noise (she’d never call it singing). She loved to dance: the shag, the jitterbug, and the Cha-cha-cha. She had an insatiable thirst for learning, along with a childlike wonder and excitement that surfaced every time she embarked on a new adventure.  

I remember her saying how much joy my siblings and I gave her, but I never understood, until I became a mom. Every moment with my son, I feel what she must have felt. Yes, there’s a little pride thrown in there, but for the most part it is pure joy. Every story, gesture,  giggle, and expression seem to fill me up with lightness. Mom had that times five, I suppose.

I watched her being an incredible sister, a caring daughter, and a dear friend even when it wasn't easy. However, I know playing these roles gave her fulfillment as well; so did the simple things in life:  a walk around her neighborhood, a magnolia blossom, a pine cone, the color of autumn leaves after the fall, the sense of clarity she seemed to gain by pulling weeds from her garden --- crisp ironed sheets, a beautifully set dinner table, a well-written book, a expressive piece of artwork, a great song or heartfelt poem.

She taught my siblings and I how to see the beauty in the world and not miss the delightful details in a single moment.  She set high expectations for herself and her kids. She boasted that we always met her expectations. We responded joking that it's only because that's what she expected. I do believe we are trustworthy because she trusted us; and we are accountable because she counted on us. It wasn't an effort then and now it is just a part of who we are.

She had her flaws of course. She had a critical eye and ran a tight ship -- but it's what kept us all afloat. She used to talk through movies, lose her keys incessantly, and could get a little technologically confused (she thought my positive pregnancy test strip was a perfume sample). Yet, when she spoke everyone listened. She was the matriarch of the family and set the rules. 

Rule #1 family comes first. I don’t know if it was her insistence that family mattered so much or just the fact I do actually love my siblings and extended family. I mean, I know that even if they weren’t my family, I’d probably want to hang out with them.  We are all very different, but we have two big things in common:  We all love Mom and we all miss her, a lot.

When she passed away she told us not to worry, because every time we saw a Cardinal, it would be her letting us know she’s still around and thinking of us. I’m sure it’s no accident that she picked a bird that is the most easily recognizable with its brilliant red color that can be seen all twelve months of the year (It’s the official state bird in seven states).   

Interestingly, the Cardinal is associated with the number twelve in folklore.  Mother’s Day is on the 12th and my mother was born on the 12^th.  The number twelve in folklore is believed to be lucky; and when a Cardinal flies into your life, they say you can expect a change for the better to occur within twelve hours, days, weeks, or months.  If you witness the Cardinal flying upward to the sky you will have instant good luck.  I’ve read it’s recommended that you always welcome the Cardinal to your windowsill, because it is the spirit of a recently deceased relative or friend. 

I told you Mom was smart. I see a Cardinal every day.  It fills me up imagining it is Mom now with wings to be with each of us at a moment’s notice --to make her joyful noise and remind us life is beautiful.  I love you Mom, Happy Mother’s Day. 

Strong threads for stabilizing the mind: Exploring Sutra 1.34

Extension of May 4th blog....


My sutra teacher, Kquvien DeWeese explained how the sutras of Patanjali were developed for experienced yogis to give them a quick way to remember how to achieve Kavailya, freedom. Some of you as a child may have studied piano or another musical instrument and had to memorize Every Good Boy Does Fine.  By memorizing the sentence you were also creating a mneumonic device to help you remember the notes on a treble clef: E G B D F.  Similarly, Patanjali's 196 Sutras were developed as simple, easy to memorize threads, which offer a depth of knowledge that when sewn in with the entire 196 form a sheet of unforgettable wisdom. The series of Sutras I've been concentrating on are the ones that focus on helping us learn to stabilize the mind.  My previous exploration was on Sutra 1.33 which emphesized the importance of cultivating three qualities 1) Friendliness 2) Compassion 3) Delight and 4) Equanimity.  Now, we will explore Sutra 1.34:

1.34 prachchhardana vidharanabhyam va pranayama

Or, by maintaining the pensive state felt at the time of soft and steady exhalation and during passive retention after exhalation.

Pranayama is thought of as breath control, yet as you mature in your practice and begin to utilize your breathing to move deeper inward, you begin to sense that prana is a powerful energy source. Kathleen Pringle offers an explanation she credits to Geeta Iyengar, that "the breath is food for the prana". BKS Iyengar says in his book, B.K.S. Iyengar Yoga: The Path to Holistic Health, that once we learn to control inhalations and exhalations, we tap into the "cosmic energy" called prana which is "...the life force energy that gives us the strength, power, and vitality for any activity."  When discussing the advantages of the retention of the breath after an exhalation specifically, he says:

"During the process of exhalation, the soul re-enters into an unfathomable space.  The mind dissolves and the divine marriage of Prakriti, the body, and Purusha, the soul, occurs."

Take a moment to inhale and exhale normally. Don't work hard at breathing that can agitate your nervous system - just breath normally. Now inhale and exhale again adding a pause after the exhalation.  Pause only as long as it is comfortable.  On that pause try to think about something --- anything.  Any luck?  Maybe for a second or two...but after that the thoughts dissipate into nothingness.  Of course, at first that beautiful nothingness may only last for a second before your autonomic nervous system demands you take an inhalation.  With practice the length of time between the nothingness and when the autonomic nervous system kicks in expands.  In the interstitial space between the exhalation and the retention or pause we begin to discover that with that stillness of mind -- that nothingness...comes a wonderful sense of peace.

In The Science of Yoga by I.K. Taimni, Sutra 1:34 is discussed in terms of offering a very basic exercise to begin to calm the restlessness of the mind and body or Viksepa. It distinguishes the actions as a preliminary exercise that is not as powerful as what might be deemed real Pranyama practices that serve to purify and revitalize the Nadis or energy channels of the body, but it's a great start. 

I put the basic practice of Sutra 1:34 to use after one of my teachers, Nancy Mau suggested it as a way to calm me down before demonstrating a pose in Teacher Training.  I'd been noticing in my Pranayama classes at Stillwater that I had difficulty with my exhales. If I was inverted somehow in a rope headstand (Sirsasana) or chair shoulder stand (Sarvangasana) I had an easier time. Kathleen Pringle mentioned that's because of where the diaphram is placed when the body is inverted. After a regular focus and concentration on this simple exercise, I begin to notice a big difference in my disposition and by my next Teacher Training, my demonstration was much easier  --- all because I had a tool to help me calm my mind and body when I needed it most.

I do hope you will try it for yourself. It's a great tool to have in your toolbox of life and one you can easily share with others.  

Namaste.

   

Strong threads for stabilizing the mind: Exploring Sutra 1.33

Extension of May 4th blog....

http://rhondageraci.blogspot.com/2013/04/choosing-strong-threads-to-help-repair.html

In Patanjali's quest to provide memorable, pithy guidelines for our self-realization, he devised 196 sutras or threads that interweave with one another to form a ribbon of knowledge that expands into a blanket of wisdom. There are countless interpretations of his Yoga Sutras.  Each interpretation adds its own subtle textures and hues.  Below are a few examples of various interpretations to help us expand our understanding of Sutra 1.33:

        Maitri karuna mudita upeksanam sukha duhkha 
        punya apunya visayanam bhavanatah cittaprasadanam

BKS Iyengar in Light on The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali  offers the following interpretation of this sutra:

"Through cultivation of friendliness, compassion, joy, and indifference to pleasure and pain, virtue and vice respectively, the consciousness becomes favourably disposed, serene, and benevolent."

Iyengar beautifully relates the disturbed mind (Citta Viksepa) to a running river. Giving us the image of a strong current in the water that creates turbulence. Then, explaining that when there is "graceful diffusion" of this current (Citta Prasadana) the consciousness can become a calm pool of water like a lake.  This "graceful diffusion" takes place with the cultivation of the four following qualities:  1) friendliness 2)Compassion 3)Delight 4) Equanimity.

Reverend Jaganath Carrera in Inside The Yoga Sutras, A comprehensive sourcebook for the study oand practice of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras offers another interpretation:

By cultivating attitudes of friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and equanimity toward the nonvirtuous, the mind-stuff retains its undisturbed calmness.

Carrera interprets Patanjali's Yoga Sutras using the idea of "locks and keys"  Locks being the challenges we face and keys being what overcomes the challenge.  For example:  the lock for the times when another's happiness or success seems to upset us and draw attention to our own failures is remedied with the key of friendliness.  "If we dwell on happiness, looking for it like a miner's eye seeks gold, we will cultivate it in our own lives."  Another example is the lock of unhappiness.  When another's unhappiness or misfortune trouble us or their suffering scares or unsettles us --the key is to have compassion.  He goes on to say we summon compassion by remembering when it was given to us while also keeping in mind the emotional suffering we were enduring at the time.
Compassion takes reflection on our human predicaments and frailties.  It takes moving beyond our own self-interests and offering strength to another human being in their time of weakness.

Edwin Bryant in The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali offers another interpretation:

By cultivating an attitude of friendship toward those who are happy, compassion towards those in distress, joy toward those who are virtuous, and equanimity toward those who are non-virtuous, lucidity arises in the mind.

Bryant draws his insight from his vast research into the traditional commentators of Patajali's Yoga Sutras.  With this interpretation, he takes the opportunity to draw direct parallels between Yoga and Buddhism noting the four practices noted in Sutra 1:33 correlate to the four Brahma-viharas outlined in various Buddhists texts.  Bryant discusses the various commentators on the Yoga Sutras and explores the human tendency to envy the happy, be jealous of the pious, and even taking "cruel delight" in the misery of an enemy. He wants us to consider this Sutra, "...speaks to the fact that yoga need not be perceived as a world-renouncing tradition but is perfectly compatible with engaged and benevolent social action in the world." Thus, providing a deeper texture and hue to our understanding by demonstrating its relativity to all human endeavors in everyday life.

As I said, there are countless interpretations and each one provides subtle differences that add to our understanding. There are many other parallels that can be drawn to other spiritual texts as well, which help us see the universality of this sage advise. Take a moment to think back to a time when you were able to produce the four qualities: 1) Friendliness 2)Compassion 3)Delight 4) Equanimity with relative ease. Conjure up a time that you were able to produce these qualities not only towards others but towards yourself as well.  Now, recall a time when you were unable to summon the four qualities for yourself or another.  Compare the state of your consciousness in all of these instances, which time was more stabilizing for your mind -- the times that you were able to utilize the four qualities or when you were not able to?